So I rediscovered Dark Shadows on Netflix streaming tonight. It appears to be the whole series, and I'm guessing they're pushing it in advance of the Dark Shadows movie that's coming out this summer. I have mixed feelings about the film although I saw a preview and it looks funny. And I usually DEATH RAY HATE Johnny Depp so that's saying something! I will totally see it.
Anyway I dove into Dark Shadows tonight because it is total nostalgia for me. I'm not old enough to remember when it was actually on television for real but when I was a kid, the syndicated episodes ran on a local television affiliate. I spent most of my afternoons after Montessori at my grandmother's house, so many of my earliest memories are from those times. And for better or for worse, they either revolve around television or gross food.
Dark Shadows came on after the kid shows in the late afternoon and I was in love with it. I really can't say why. I think the black and white was kind of intriguing to me. And that creepy theremin in the theme song! And Barnabas! I mean, he's supposed to be sexy, right? I thought so when I was 5! Dark and mysterious and also a vampire! Like Edward Cullen to young girls these days, only cooler. And old, forever middle aged!
If you think it is weird for a five year old to watch a soap opera that at the time was nearly 20 years old, bear in mind that earlier in the afternoon at that age I was probably watching Another World with Maw, and at that particular time one of the main storylines on that show centered on a creepy Raggedy Ann doll that sometimes came to life to terrorize one of the female characters. TV IS GOOD FOR YOUNG BRAINS.
Anyway I barely remembered anything about Dark Shadows other than the coffins in the basement and, well, the drama. Also I think there is a sad werewolf character who pops up in a later season. A SAD WEREWOLF YOU GUYS.
I'm about seven episodes in, and am realizing that Dark Shadows is not very good. But that is what is good about it, the fact that it is just terrible bodice-rippery junk food for your brain, and that in fact makes it awesome.
Thinking about Dark Shadows makes me miss my grandmother a lot. She died when I was six, so I didn't get a lot of childhood with her, but we did have good times together. Most notably, Maw was my sitter when my parents went out on Saturday night dates, and that was always a good time because it meant I got to sleep over at her house, hang out with her dachshund Pierre, and watch Hee Haw, which was what she sat down to watch religiously every Saturday night. There was also usually a can of Planters cheese balls opened and partially consumed during Hee Haw time. I don't think they make those anymore, which is a good thing because I would probably binge eat them. A lot.
I fucking loved Hee Haw. More than Dark Shadows, because Hee Haw was not SRS BZNS that I was actually too young to understand. I would like to see that show up on Netflix and perhaps also a big-screen adaptation starting Johnny Depp, or whomever the low-rent equivalent of Johnny Depp is.
