"What's this new Johnny Depp movie about?"
"It's a vampire movie that happens to be a vampire movie rather because Depp's character is a vampire more than because it's about vampires. Does that make sense?"
"Not really. How old is Depp now anyway? He must be getting on for fifty."
"No – he's more around my age I think. 44? 45 maybe."
"That is nearly fifty."
I clammed up. The above is a conversation I had with Eleanor's dad yesterday when he found me hunched over an article in The Times about Dark Shadows. I don't think 44 is anywhere near 50. In the big scheme of things, sure, it's right there on top of it but in a life-span scheme of things, it's miles away. When you're 14, you're not 'nearly 20′ – although that might be a bad example because most 14 year olds probable do wish that they were 20. 24 would be a better example. Nobody who is 24 wants to be 30 for any reason at all. Luckily, 24 is also not 'nearly 30′.
Neither is 34 'nearly 40′. A little part of me is wondering whether 54 is 'nearly 60′, but it's not. Not even close. Although I have to admit, if I push the equation forward a little, I will run with the concept by admitting that 94 does sound awfully close to 100. I wonder what your opinion on that is if you are 94. Should I have any 94 year old readers, I'd love to hear from you.
Also of note this weekend, went to see Wrath of the Titans. It was OK. You're not missing anything if you don't see it at the cinema and you won't be missing anything if you don't see it on DVD later either. If you do happen across it by accident though, I'm sure you'll agree, it's OK. That's just about an honest review as you'll find of it anywhere in the world.
