Yes, I got the opportunity to visit a nude beach today. And when I say opportunity, I mean "forced onto a beach full of naked men". We started out innocently enough. Kayaking in the Mediterranean began as a fun, wholesome family activity. I shared a kayak with one of the nicest girls on the trip. She and I have had Spanish classes together before at the Academy and know each other decently well. We gingerly tread the rocks-in-place-of-sand beach with our kayak after suiting up with a life jacket and stripping down to our bathing suits. After being pushed out to sea, we began to paddle with vigor and zest. We paddled toward the rock formations to the left of the beach and started heading south. We paddled by the rock wall and usually had to navigate around some huge boulders standing between the rock wall and open sea. This was pretty fun. Despite my obvious lack of knowledge about how a kayak works (and I was steering), we managed not to impale ourselves on any of the aforementioned boulders. In fact, we successfully navigated a cave, a couple of waterfalls, and avoided our classmates' kayaks. For the most part. We may or may not have started a game of bumper kayak. Hint: we did. I also got to exit the kayak for a little while and swim around in the Mediterranean. Bucket list item #349: check! Anyway, toward the middle part of the three hour tour, we passed by a beach that's in the middle of the rock wall/formation. You know, if we had stayed at a distance, I never would have noticed the obscene lack of clothes. I mean, a bikini really isn't that much material. But, being the awesome pilot I am (ha), I drove us decently close to the beach. It finally dawned on my partner, "Oh my gosh, they have no clothes." The look of horror that crossed my face is only one that could be shown in picture:
Rough drawing of Lauren when she discovered a beach of naked men
Yeah, not a fan of naked people. It's just not okay. We didn't stop the first time, but we definitely stopped by on the return trip. Pulled up the kayaks onto the beach and everything. One guy was just sitting there, feet flat on the ground, knees up, showing off his jewels to the world. As one of my friends on the trip said, "I guess he just doesn't believe in man-scaping." It went there. But it did get me thinking: how does one decide to start a nude beach? Do you just show up one day without clothes on and everybody follows you? Or do you discuss it with people before you go? Cause seriously, that would have to be the most awkward conversation of all time. Just sayin'. We finally left the clothes-forsaken beach, and I was forever changed. Well, maybe just forever scarred. Anyway, I don't think tomorrow's after-school activity of watching a Spanish movie will be that exciting, but who knows. If there's a nude beach and Johnny Depp's involved…. (kidding, really).
Daily Culture Lesson!
Spaniards never take off their shoes. Seriously, never. I have never seen my host mother not in a pair of sneakers, slippers, sandals, etc. And most of the homes don't have carpet! I don't know if this is because of the sea being so close or the universal dislike of vacuums here, but there really isn't any soft surface to walk on besides the beach. For a girl who loves to go barefoot, this one has been a challenge. I only walk around the house without shoes on when Mapi isn't home. Eh, whatcha don't know won't kill ya, right?!
